If you've wondered why they do that hand gesture at metal gigs...

Someone sent Ronnie Wood out to fill up

The results were not good:

Would you get pissed to get through lunch with Rod Stewart? Ronnie would.

By now everyone's heard about Ronnie Wood and his liking for a White Russian. Just two weeks ago he was apparently at lunch in London with ex-Faces singer Rod Stewart (which would drive anyone to drink) discussing a reunion of their old band. Keyboardist Ian McLagan has confirmed the Faces would do a reunion tour in 2008 but presumably that was before he knew his guitarist had fallen off the deep end.

You gotta wonder what the cocktail waitress two generations younger than him he ran away with to Ireland saw in ol' Ronnie. Reportedly consuming three bottles of Vodka a day, the only thing he could have given her would have been a stiff drink.If she was after cash she'd be disappointed. There's no way a bloke drinking that much piss could remember his PIN.

Happy 60th, Ron Asheton

Born in Ann Arbor, Michigan, in 1948, everyone's favourite collector of Nazi war memorabilia, Ronald Frank Asheton continues to stand and deliver on guitar for the Stooges. Here's a composite from YouTube marking his days in The New Order:

I'm Through With White Dorks

YouTube is truly society's Great Leveller. Behaviour that would get your arm ripped from its socket and the useless limb used to beat you to a senseless bloody pulp by any self-respecting 'roids-raging bouncer scarcely raises an eyebrow on a Stockholm street - and attracts an online viewing audience of 14,000-plus. Cool Dirtbombs song, though, even if one of the commenters wanted the version from The Sympathetic Sounds of Detroit.

Which just goes to show you can't please evereyone.

Festivals are fun

Hey Gig Pigs: You thought Australia's Big Day Out was strange and the English Glastonbury Festival attracted the odd oddball? How about a guide to the World's Weirdest Festivals?

El Colacho Baby Jumping (Spain) by men in Elvis outfits and The Monkey Buffet Festival (Thailand) where small men in GW Bush masks pig out may not rock in the sense that you and I recognise, but they sure are out-there.

Tunarama (South Australia's tuna tossing celebration, something I've experienced through the line of working duty, believe it or not) even rates a mention. More here.

Creative Ways To Waste Time On The Internerd part 524

Not rock and roll, I agree, but there are minutes of amusement in The Evil Clown Generator.

My Top Ten Beats Your Top Ten, Punk

Ultimate Guitar has posted their list of Punk Rock’s Mightiest Guitar Gods. God knows what I'm doing reading things like that online.

These lists by faceless writers are generally filler material or an excuse for Rolling Stone to print a nostalgia issue to exploit the ageing nature of the segment of their demographic that’s otherwise not hopelessly fixated by fashion. Provided you don't take them seriously, these lists aren't generally harmful to your health.

Here’s the Top 10 and the signature tunes that Ultimate Guitar thinks gives them deity status:

1. Lou Reed – Sister Ray
2. Johnny Thunders – Personality Crisis
3. Lenny Kaye – Radio Ethiopia
4. Johnny Ramone – Sheena is a Punk Rocker
5. Steve Jones – God Save the Queen
6. Mick Jones – I’m So Bored With The USA
7. Tom Verlaine/Richard Lloyd – Maquee Moon
8. Robert Quine – Blank Generation
9. Ricky Wilson – Rock Lobster
10. Billy Zoom – The Hungry Wolf

Rather than debate the issue pointlessly on an international scale - e.g. Lloyd is more punk than Verlaine, The B-52s were a trash '60s kitsch pastiche and not punk, ther L.A. X sucked - I thought I’d spend about 30 seconds to reel off an Australian list from the initial wave of “punk”.

If I’m out by a year or so or change my mind next week, shoot me. They’re in no special order either.

Leave your flames/remarks in comments:

Ed Kuepper (Saints) – I’m Stranded
Rowland S Howard (Boys Next Door/Birthday Party) – Shivers
Deniz Tek (Radio Birdman) – New Race
Steve Lucas (X) – Degenerate Boy
Mark Taylor (Lipstick Killers) – Hindu Gods
Brad Shephard (Fun Things) – Savage
Chris Masuak (Radio Birdman) – Hangin’ On
Kim Salmon (Scientists) – Swampland
Ed Wreckage (Leftovers) – Cigarettes and Alcohol

Lester Bangs was a pig-fucker

The Internerd has a way of throwing your long-forgotten words back at you. Like this missive to Creem magazine from Ms P. Smith. Not that there's anything wrong with Keef or Bob-ee Dy-lan and good to see Lester took it in the spirit intended.

Devil's Disciple - Lobby Loyde and the Coloured Balls

It's a bit over a year since Australian guitar great Lobby Loyde died. It's worth recalling fellow Australian Recording Industry inductee Angry Anderson's tribute:

"More than anyone else, Lobby helped create the Australian guitar sound. Long before Angus (Young) or Billy Thorpe or the Angels or Rose Tattoo. Lobby inspired Australian bands to step forward and play as loud and aggressively as they could. People are still trying to copy it today".

Here's proof:

File under Rumour, Possibly True

It could be a crock (there's no source attributed) so don't get your hopes up just yet, but here's a tantalizing rumour that the world's best rockumentary, "A True Testimonial: The MC5", might be officially released.

"Kicks Just Keep Getting Harder to Find"

So what's the ex-singer of Paul Revere and the Raiders supposed to do other than open his own restaurant in Portland, Oregon? Hmmm, some mixed reviews in there but the song's still a goodie: